Oh, wait: it’s not what you’re thinking. It’s not a personal care product…
I decided to try out the bike stands my gentleman friend gave me for Christmas; nice ones from Redline that even let you roll the bike around once it’s up. You screw two sturdy spools into the swingarm so the rear stand can roll under and hoist it. But I have to remove the bolt at the bottom of the front fork for the front stand to fit in. I’d rather not, but that’s the deal.
I got the Haynes book for the SV650, which is detailed and fully illustrated; you really can’t go wrong, and – let’s face it – cleaning and lubing your chain isn’t rocket surgery. But I’m sort of a book junkie; I still have the old Porsche shop manuals somewhere for my long-gone 356C, as well as “How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive,” which I used to rebuild two VW engines. I love the Haynes and Clymer books. The Chilton manuals always stopped when tasks required special dealer tools. But the Clymer manual would trudge onward, cheerfully suggesting that you obtain a piece of 4″ stock tempered steel, use a drill press to place 6 holes at such-and-such points (they’d thoughtfully provide a template), and thus fashion an adequate semblance of the $295 official tool. And the Haynes books are always clearly written, thorough, and well-illustrated.
Armed with a roll of those nice blue shop [paper] towels, protected by two layers of latex gloves, I turned the rear wheel and sprayed the Motorex 611 Chain Clean all along the chain, scrubbing it with the grunge brush and wiping off the muck. I was surprised at the smell, though: I was expecting good old-fashioned petroleum smell, or a twangy solvent, but no — it was floral. I’m not kidding. Are you sure this isn’t air freshener? No — it clearly says chain cleaner, and it’s certainly dissolving the crap on the chain.
Then I re-lubed the chain after the cleaner dried. The lube (Kal-Gard Clear Chain Kote, which also has a festive floral scent) says “lay a thin bead down entire interior length of the chain.” Thin bead. Hah. It squirts like a fire hose. The sprayer button has two settings, Off and Blast. So you blast and wipe and hope you haven’t over-goojed it. You wipe off what you can, but shoot, it’s all going to sling off and coat the underside of the chain guard anyway.
I swear, I smelled like a Mary Kay rep for the first few miles.